and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize