you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
