A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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