Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
