i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
