I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
