So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
