Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
