I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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