If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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