Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
