dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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