i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
