I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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