how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
