Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
