yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
