Your face is a jimmy john
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
