This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
