You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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