well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
