just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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