She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
