yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
