I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
