You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
