You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize