Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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