dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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