Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
