Capitaan dildo arrescate!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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