so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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