Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Umm I'm too high to move.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
