? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
