i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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