If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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