Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
