A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
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