On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
