he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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