**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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