This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
