You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
only if we run a train.
done.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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