Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
