if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We just shotgunned beers for America
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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