Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
