ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
