Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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