Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize
