It's Friday. Sex?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
