Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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