I've blown a few things in my day
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
