I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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