I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
