All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
