can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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