marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
