wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
