No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
