Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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