I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
