ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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