Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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