2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I want a musical about memes.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
