whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
