It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
